Writing Articles and How to Protect Yourself From the Giant, Killer Rabbits

Maybe I’m a little insane. But when I’m writing articles I like to picture myself surrounded by an army of rabbits. Forget fluffy bunnies. These are giant, murderous creatures, eager to tear me apart, at the slightest excuse.

Even as I write these words I can sense these homicidal carrot-crunchers close at hand, poised to strike. Sometimes I feel as if my life is on a knife’s edge.

But obviously there’s no real cause for alarm, because all this is happening in my mind. These giant, killer rabbits are there – as a figment of my imagination – simply to judge the quality of my writing.

Professional style
As long as I maintain a professional style and don’t break the rules of good article creation, the rabbits stay peaceful and unthreatening. But if the standard of my writing flags, even for one moment, their mood changes.

As I work at the keyboard I am aware of these lop-eared critics, evaluating my every word. It doesn’t take much to antagonise them.

A tired phrase or cliché could be enough to get them agitated. If I write too slowly, if my article gets too wordy or if it drifts too far from the point, their agitation grows. When I write something boring that may not hold the reader’s interest, they turn ugly.

Writing articles that can kill you
With each sign of Bad Writer Syndrome that I display, their anger builds and the danger I face rises. All too quickly I can feel these monstrous herbivores looming over me. Their hot mammalian breath burns the back of my neck, as they ready themselves for the kill. If they struck, believe me, it would be an horrific experience.

To counteract the threat I must respond quickly. Clumsily written sentences have to be redrafted. Boring or predictable material needs to be weeded out and replaced with something fresh. Provided I act fast, I can turn the situation around.

As soon as the rabbits see signs of improvement, they start to back off. An elegant phrase, an insightful observation or a witty one-liner can calm them down and cause their psychopathic tendencies to subside.

Improve your articles
If I then round off my article with a strong conclusion and come up with a pertinent, but attention-grabbing headline, the danger they pose melts away.

It’s true what they say. When your life hangs in the balance, it concentrates the mind. In my case it makes me strive for the highest quality when writing articles. Whatever happens, I don’t want those rabbits to get me.

If you are struggling to improve your article writing and are searching for that elusive ingredient, which could transform your output, you may wish to consider this. As you sit there with all the tools of your trade close at hand – keyboard, monitor and PC – is it possible something is missing?

Maybe what you need, encircling you as you work, is an army of giant, killer rabbits.