Finding satisfaction and peace of mind can seem like an elusive concept to some people. They need to be in control of their life and fear becoming out of control if they relax too much, that they will lose their grip on life and all the many tasks that they need to complete.
However it is possible to achieve a positive, comfortable sense of being in control by adopting a rather different approach. Being more relaxed, taking things in ones stride is the way to achieve a balanced, calm sense of poise and appreciation of oneself, ones life and ones choices. And as such feel more contented with life, with improved peace of mind.
– Respond rather than react. It can be easy to make snap judgements, decisions based on emotions or situations. It is far more positive to take time, consider what has happened, what the options are and then decide on the next step. Some people choose to wait twenty four hours before making a final decision on anything really important. Sleep can sometimes bring a whole new perspective into a situation as it allows the unconscious mind to explore other options and considerations free from the conscious minds logical intervention.
– Appreciate what you have. We can be dissatisfied when others achieve what we wanted, or they can buy what we cannot afford. Stop and enjoy the robin on the fence, children playing in a garden, the intricate construction of a flower. Enjoy nature, music, simple things like patterns, fragrances. It can be very calming and grounding to stop for a while. Appreciate what is real, what matters, what is free.
– Appreciate your friends, family, relationships, your home. Be thankful for these things. As you read this you are one of the very few percentage of people in the world who have access to a computer, running water, drainage, health care. Appreciate the security of your life and get things into perspective. Start each day with the best outlook you can. Each day is a new day, a blank canvas to write on. It is your new opportunity. Decide to use it well.
– Turn everything off. Switch off the TV, the computer, the telephone and take twenty minutes out. The quiet and the commitment to some ‘me’ time is an important commitment to regaining a sense of self, peace of mind and perspective on life. It is a fact that human beings are not designed to rush around constantly. Taking some ‘me’ time calms the mind, relaxes from stressful situations and also allows the body to perform its natural functions, like healing, cell renewal, digestion.
– Keep a ‘Happy Book’ or a ‘Success Book’. Write down three things every day in a special diary or note book. Three things that have made you smile or feel really good, or three things that you have achieved or done differently from the norm. These items do not have to be major events, but are a way of focussing your mind onto the good things that you experience or do in your daily life. They train you to notice the good things that happen each day.
– Learn to notice how you talk to yourself. Many people speak to themselves negatively, or even set themselves up to fail. They talk themselves out of trying for fear of failure or by saying ‘there is no point in me doing that’. Become aware of how you talk to yourself, is it a habit, is it self-protection. Look at the reasons for doing it. Sometimes counselling can help in becoming more confident and in healing long established negative patterns of thinking or behaviour.
– Choose to do something that really motivates you. If work has to be a compromise, then find a sport, a hobby, volunteering that really brings a feeling of fulfillment into your life. Even if you can only commit to it occasionally make it an important part of your mindset and schedule.
Peace of mind and contentment are about accepting what we have and also taking positive control of our thoughts, ways of looking at the world, feeling more clear about our choices. We choose to take control of our attitude and have a better, more settled quality of life as a result.
Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with:
– stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief
– couples in crisis to help improve communications and understanding
– with business clients to help support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams
For more information see http://www.lifestyletherapy.net